You may feel like you don't fit in. Or you're different. Not good enough. Insecure.
Taking control of your thoughts and emotions, especially how you feel about yourself, can be tough.
You may be your own worst critic because you don’t know how to feel comfortable in your own skin, and you constantly put yourself down, instead of embracing yourself for who you are.
Too many of us go through life thinking, “If I only looked better…were more successful…were smarter…were skinnier, then I’d feel much happier in my own skin.”
The truth is, feeling comfortable with who you are comes down to self-worth — learning to truly value yourself, no matter how you look, or how much you have, or what you believe, or what others think of you.
It’s accepting your strengths and weaknesses first and then working on your personal growth — whether that means how you look, how you think, your career, and your personality.
In this post, you’ll learn how to feel comfortable in your own skin, overcome negative thinking, and accept yourself for who you really are.
How to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin
You might confuse feeling confident as feeling comfortable in your own skin — but there’s a difference.
Confidence is something that can be seen and portrayed to others, while being comfortable with who you are is feeling a serene peace inside of you, that does not need to be shown to those around you.
It is yours only — a treasure chest deep in your heart, filled with happiness and contentment.
However, due to reasons both big and small, this box can get empty, leading to feelings of insecurity, negativity and low self-esteem.
Below, we’ll share tips on how to refill this box, and feel good about being YOU again:
Celebrate Your Body
What do you see when you look in the mirror?
This is a simple, but important question — because when we're constantly engulfed by magazines and movies that portray what the “perfect” human body is, we often try to fit that image.
Instead, we need to learn to appreciate our body, because each of us are beautiful unique individuals.
In your case perhaps, you’re worked countless hours, survived an illness, cared for a loved one, given birth, endured extreme weather, run a marathon — whatever it is, your body has carried you through it all.
So, next time you notice a blemish, a stretch mark, a wrinkle, or a new silver hair, think of it as a medal of honor. When you think of everything you’ve accomplished or ploughed through over the years, it makes it easier for you to celebrate and cherish your body.
It also makes you appreciate your body, and do the best you possibly can for it.
Below are a few ways you can celebrate your body and feel good again:
- Exercise — not just to look good, but feel good
- Eat the right foods, but also occasionally eat what you really love
- Stay hydrated by drinking enough water
- Take the extra step — floss your teeth, oil your beard, moisturize your skin
- Repay your body for working hard by giving it a good night’s rest, and strive to get better sleep
Yes, your body might not be perfect, but by pampering it and taking care of it, it rewards you back by making you feel and look better. Plus, it’s the only one you have, so treat it with respect!
Feed Your Mind
Just like healthy food is good for the body, healthy thoughts are good for the mind. Feeding your mind with positive thoughts is essential to your mental well-being.
Taking charge of your thoughts, especially how you feel about yourself, can be very difficult — especially if you lack confidence in yourself, are plagued with negative thoughts, and find it hard to accept yourself for who you are.
Remember, that your self-worth is never dependent on what others think of you or upon the approval of others. It is self-created and self-defined. The only person who can ever honestly make you feel good about yourself — is you.
Below are a few ways you can feed your mind to feel good about being you:
- Don’t rely on other peoples’ opinions to validate your self-worth, it needs to come from within
- List your strengths and weaknesses — without judgement. Be willing to look at the good, bad, ugly and the extraordinary in you
- Be more self-aware and notice your characteristics, even the “not-so-good” ones. Focus on accepting each quality. Accepting weaknesses might be difficult, but you might be surprised that accepting your strengths can be equally challenging
- List your insecurities and then work on resolving each one. Facing everything you’re insecure about head-on is the only way to go about fixing problematic thoughts and emotions. While it might take time to overcome your insecurities, once you start to love your flaws and your strengths you will start to feel more comfortable with who you are
Nourish Your Spirit
To truly and deeply connect with yourself, you need to discover how to find inner peace, which is made possible by discovering your authenticity.
When you find your authenticity — or find yourself — and endeavor to be true to who you are, you will automatically feel confident, special, unique, and comfortable in your own skin.
But, without inner peace, authenticity is short-lived.
Below are a few ways you can nourish your spirit to find inner peace and stay authentic:
- Try to meditate daily, even if for a short time. Practicing meditation and mindfulness is where peace can be found — in the present moment. Burn incense to enhance your meditation practice.
- Laugh often. Don’t take yourself too seriously — laughing helps your spirit soar and reminds you that no matter what, every moment holds hope and possibility
- Nurture your spirit, and feel comfortable in your own company by just “being.” Simply relax, take a hot bath, go for a hike, ceremonially smudge yourself, practice yoga and take time out for you.
- Be grateful for the person you are — practice gratitude for everything you are doing to contribute to the world, with your body, your mind, your skills, your personality and your spirit.
When you’re projecting someone who does not feel like you, you’ll never really feel comfortable being who you are.
As you gradually practice these tips and feel less self-conscious around others, and more comfortable with yourself, it’ll show in the way you see yourself — in front of the mirror, and to those around you.